Chris Tremlett

Well hello there giant Englishman.

You must think yourself pretty damn good, demolishing the Australian top order all summer.

Let us remind you that the Australian cricket team is now staffed by a rag tag rabble of misbegotten wretches – the like of which has never been seen on a turf rectangle before.

Time to face a bigger threat, the combination of decades of Soviet genetic engineering failures and selective breeding involving mammoth DNA and female body-builders.

It’s time for Vanya, Trembles – time for pain

Chris Tremlett

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