Author Archives: dudesvanyacouldtake

Vanya Jakoljevic

Vanya VS.Vanya

Do you think that Paradoxes phase Vanya? Vanya is so powerful he could even take on and defeat himself! Academics beware – Vanya can tie string theory in knots, murders the theory of relativity then hunts down all its relatives, places no gravity in Newtonian physics, and subscribes to the theory of survival of the one who is most Vanya-like.

Drop your easels and run – Vanya is here to break apart your world and put it back together in his massive likeness, which he will then proceed to destroy

 

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Chris Tremlett

Well hello there giant Englishman.

You must think yourself pretty damn good, demolishing the Australian top order all summer.

Let us remind you that the Australian cricket team is now staffed by a rag tag rabble of misbegotten wretches – the like of which has never been seen on a turf rectangle before.

Time to face a bigger threat, the combination of decades of Soviet genetic engineering failures and selective breeding involving mammoth DNA and female body-builders.

It’s time for Vanya, Trembles – time for pain

Chris Tremlett

The Australian Cricket Team


Far too content to grace magazines and play with their hair – these once proud gents have gone awry.

These fools have gone from cock-sure stalwarts on song, to tattooed tossbags in less time than it takes to say “Stop pummeling me, mighty Vanya!”

It’s time for a re appraisal of the whole situation – remove the whole team and replace it with Vanya.

When it comes to sport – we’ll not give anyone a chance again – ever.

Adam Pinto

Adam Pinto

Pinto, you may be the nation’s only hope in advanced rig management technologies – but Vanya is about to dash those hopes against the rock of his brow.

Your puny attempts at manhood have put the country and all of mankind to shame.  Prepare to feel the wrath of a vengeful Vanya!

Supah!

Barn Owl Bill

ummm… actually not so sure about this one

Prohibition Wowsers from the 1930s

Trying to change the world for the better are you?

Think that booze is the devil’s dishwater do you?

How wrong you are! Vanya was actually born in a vat of Vodka so pure that moonlight wouldn’t enter its mystical embraces

Without booze Vanya would never have climbed to the vertigo-enducing heights he’s at today

Get back in your boxes (casks) and get loose in honour of the once and future king!

Frisbees

Not all of you will be old enough to remember the 80s, but back in the day the third most lethal weapon around was the frisbee

Any frisbee that catches a glimpse of our formidable hero would quickly change direction in the face of such manly perfection